How To Choose The Right Role Model For Your Life

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The Oxford dictionary defines a role model as a person looked to by others as an example to be imitated. I’ve come to the realization that many people don’t know the implications or effects of having a role model which is why they don’t realize how a role model can affect their life. 

It might shock you to know how many people have lost their lives, about to lose their lives, or are living a miserable life just because of the people or person that they made their role models. Some people’s looks, lifestyles, and relationships are inspired by their role models. 

However, it’s important to have a role model because having an example of what you wish to become and studying that person could make your journey in life easier. 

Having a positive role model and imitating that person could bring you quicker to your success and on the other hand, having a bad role model and imitating that person will also bring you quicker to your destruction. 

This is why we hear things like ” he’s a bad influence on young boys or she’s a bad influence on young girls. The “accused” person hasn’t asked anyone to imitate them. They might not even know that people are looking up to them, but this is the power of a “role model”.

Furthermore, this takes us to our next topic.

Who is considered a positive or a negative role model?

A positive role model can be seen as someone that you admire and emulate brings peace,  knowledge, progress, and joy to you. Some role models challenge you to bring out the best in you.

For instance,  some people got to start reading,  writing,  building themselves up in different areas of their life just by the influence of those they see as role models.

How To Choose The Right Role Model For Your Life

A negative role model can be seen as someone that you admire and emulate brings sadness, makes you feel low of yourself, keeps you in a corner where you’re constantly competing with yourself and others, makes you feel incomplete about your physical looks or career in life, makes you focus your attention on material things instead of investments and achievements. 

Consequently, I would really encourage you to practice this exercise:

– look at your life right now, identify what your focus is, what your success is and whom you constantly look at or listen to.

90 percent of the time, there’s always a connection between whom you are watching and listening to and your present state in life at the moment.  So, if you’re confused about whether or not you have a role model or if what you’re listening to, watching, or reading is affecting you, practice the above exercise. 

Having come to understand how much your role model can affect your life now, the important question now should be, how do I choose and differentiate between the negative or positive role model?

1. Study yourself, your purpose, and your destination in life

The first thing I think you should do before you start to emulate someone’s life is understanding your own life. When you can’t define yourself,  it will be easy for someone to mislead you. Understanding yourself, your strength, and your purpose in life will give you a clear and specific direction. 

Hence,  ask yourself questions like:

– what’s my passion? What commands my attention? What would I feel satisfied doing if I have the means today or in the future? These questions will help you to direct your focus, so instead of wasting your time on people who will not contribute to your built-up, you’ll start focusing on the right people to learn exactly what you need in your life. 

This could be fashion,  business,  education, or politics,  but be specific and prudent while choosing a role model because it’s a fact that your role model can affect your life.

2. Know the foundation of your role model

Again,  many people have lost it in life because they were trying to be someone’s finished product without having anidea of what the raw material was. 

There are many stories behind success, you might know the full or partial story or you might know nothing at all. Some have demands that you might be able to or might not be able to meet.

Hence, it is important to understand the start, process, and the finished story of whom you want to be like, otherwise, you might be experiencing these two things –

A. You might end up trying to locate a road without an end because you have embarked on a journey with the wrong address in the first place ( this is when your role model gives false information about his or her success story).  

B. You could constantly get frustrated in your effort to achieve your dreams because you don’t know or don’t understand what it takes to achieve them. For instance, it’s like trying to be an actor when you don’t have the skills or talents for acting. 

3. Keep your mind open to changing role models

This is a wise way to stay safe and remain on the right track. People change and you might discover something new about someone that is contrary to why you started seeing him or her as your role model.

For instance, let’s assume that you choose a role model because the person is very hardworking and you admire how the person has been able to work his way from the bottom to the top. If this person is now revealed as a criminal, I would advise you to stop following and emulating that person, redirect your choice of a role model

The reason for my advice is because it has become clear that he didn’t get to the top through genuine means which means that your expectations based on his achievements might not come to pass if you wouldn’t be doing the exact thing he did to get there. 

Note. I’m not saying that you cannot have a successful achievement without being involved in crimes (Just because someone got his success by being involved in criminal acts doesn’t mean that you can’t be successful through legal means). I am saying that emulating someone’s success and not being committed to the person’s ways can be confusing and it will affect your life. 

Also check out, ” 6 ways to look classy on a low budget.


Anybody can be a role model to anybody. There’s always something in you that someone else admirers. Don’t be desperate about having a role model, it’s better not to have anyone than to have one that will affect your life negatively.  

Do not take whom you listen to constantly for granted,  their impact on your life can be likened to the impact role models have on people. This is because, the more time you spend listening, reading about, or watching one particular person, the more likely you will start emulating them consciously or unconciuosly.

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